How AI is Making Humans Lonelier Than Ever Before
Things worth taking away
- An MIT Media Lab and OpenAI study found the heaviest AI chatbot users were the loneliest
- Trust is "a confident relationship with the unknown" — AI companions remove the unknown
- Connection requires risk; an AI that never disappoints you is a transaction, not intimacy
- AI won't replace coaching, and this episode explains why
- This week's experiment: notice people leaving conversations, and stay anyway
About this episode
There’s a man in love with an AI named Astrid. She remembers everything, and she never disagrees with him. She’s programmed to be anyone’s dream. Astrid is an it, configured to please, and somebody gets paid every time she does.
Nathalie unpacks what AI companionship is revealing about human connection, drawing on Esther Perel’s research and trust researcher Rachel Botsman’s definition of trust as “a confident relationship with the unknown.” A 2025 MIT Media Lab and OpenAI study of 981 people and over 300,000 chatbot messages found the heaviest AI users were the loneliest.
The question Nathalie gets asked most right now is whether AI will replace coaching. Her answer is no, and this episode explains why. Connection requires risk, the real possibility of being let down. An AI that never disappoints you trades real connection for a transaction dressed up as intimacy.
This week’s experiment: notice people leaving conversations, whether it’s a glance at a phone or a change of subject. Then stay anyway, past the point of comfort, because real connection has wrinkles. That’s how you know what’s real.
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