Loneliness Kills Like 15 Cigarettes a Day

Why aren’t connection skills taught in schools? Nathalie Blais spent 50,000 hours coaching, went to Harvard to research the question with 150+ educators worldwide, and took the answer to a TEDx stage. In this episode she goes beyond the 12-minute talk: the data behind the youth loneliness epidemic, the research linking teacher coaching to student achievement, and brand-new results from Bangkok Prep, an international school that spent 18 months embedding a coaching culture (88% of staff report direct benefits, with measurable gains for students). Plus the one skill you can practice this week: the shift from evaluating to acknowledging.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why aren’t connection skills taught in schools?

Research with 150+ educators worldwide points to one root cause: teachers are never trained in connection skills themselves. School systems train educators in content and classroom management, so connection gets left to chance, even though studies link the student-teacher relationship to both well-being and academic achievement.

What is a coaching culture in a school?

A coaching culture means educators use coaching-based communication (asking instead of telling, listening instead of fixing) as their default, in classrooms and in leadership. At Bangkok Prep, an 18-month coaching culture initiative produced accredited coaches on staff, a shift to collaborative inquiry, and 88% of staff reporting direct benefits.

Does coaching teachers improve student outcomes?

Yes. Ross (1992) and Shidler (2009) both found links between coaching teachers and student achievement, and Green, Grant & Rynsaardt (2007) found coaching increased hope and cognitive hardiness in high school students while decreasing depression.

What’s the difference between evaluating and acknowledging?

Evaluating is giving your opinion of someone’s experience (“at least your mom is still alive”), which can feel like judgment. Acknowledging is naming what you see in them (“I see how much you love your mother”), which creates belonging. Acknowledgment is a core coaching skill anyone can practice.

Sources

• Nathalie’s TEDx talk: “Connection matters more than curriculum” (on YouTube)

• Educator As Coach program: canadacoachacademy.com/educator-as-coach

• U.S. Surgeon General (2023), Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation

• Gallup Student Poll, engagement declining by grade level (Education Week)

• Twenge, J. et al. (2020), “Increases in Depression, Self-Harm, and Suicide Among U.S. Adolescents After 2012,” Psychiatric Research and Clinical Practice

• S.2350, National Strategy for Social Connection Act, 118th Congress

• Brené Brown, Dare to Lead (belonging and connection at work)

• The Good Childhood Report, The Children’s Society

• Ross, J. A. (1992), “Teacher efficacy and the effect of coaching on student achievement,” Canadian Journal of Education, 17(1), 51–65

• Shidler, L. (2009), “The impact of time spent coaching for teacher efficacy on student achievement,” Early Childhood Education Journal, 36(5), 453–460

• Green, L. S., Grant, A. M., & Rynsaardt, J. (2007), “Evidence-based life coaching for senior high school students: Building hardiness and hope,” International Coaching Psychology Review, 2(1)

• Murray-Harvey, R. (2010), “Relationship influences on students’ academic achievement, psychological health and well-being at school,” Educational & Child Psychology, 27(1)

• Bangkok Prep coaching culture impact review (18-month audit, Coach Academy partnership)

For educators: the Educator As Coach program at Coach Academy.