Best of Revived | When Menopause Doesn't Come With Hot Flashes - Is It Menopause?
Things worth taking away
- Menopause looks different in every woman; without hot flashes it often gets dismissed, and the hardest part can be simply not knowing what's happening to you.
- Understanding comes before the fix, for a woman trying to name what's happening in her body and for a coach listening for what a client actually wants.
- Coaching and therapy are different: therapy looks at the past; coaching helps you move forward, set goals and picture the next version of life, and a good coach refers out when therapy is needed.
- Coaching and consulting belong in separate lanes: consulting gives expertise, coaching asks questions so the answer comes from you. Tell clients which mode you're in.
- To build a specialty, start with coaching skills and layer your subject expertise on top. Changing careers at midlife? Go where you light up.
About this episode
Kelly Hill had menopause symptoms for years with almost no hot flashes, so every specialist who asked about menopause dropped the subject after one question. Eighteen symptoms that didn’t seem to go together, from joint pain to brain fog, and the hardest part, she says, was not knowing what was happening to her.
Kelly, a CPA turned business coach, joins Nathalie to talk about what that stretch of time costs, including the career her identity was built around, and what finally helped: a friend who connected the dots, and people who understood. From there the conversation turns to a question that reaches well beyond menopause: when do you advise, and when do you coach? Nathalie and Kelly explain why the two belong in separate lanes, how Kelly tells clients which mode she’s in, and why a client who says “just tell me what to do” is an invitation to coach.
Kelly’s own path runs from accounting to teaching to coaching with a specialty. Her advice for anyone weighing a similar change: go where you light up, because women in midlife are more willing to take risks. Underneath both halves of the conversation is one idea — understanding comes before the fix.
Mentioned in this episode: The New Menopause by Mary Claire Haver, How to Menopause by Tamsen Fadal, and The Menopause Brain by Lisa Mosconi. Kelly took a menopause coaching certification, then Coach Academy’s Life & Wellness Coach Certification. Find Kelly at profitandlattes.com and connect with Nathalie Blais on LinkedIn. Learn more at Canada Coach Academy.
Jump to a moment
- 00:00From accountant to coach: Kelly's background
- 01:54What was the hardest part of menopause?
- 02:50Why does menopause look different in every woman?
- 03:06When there are no hot flashes, menopause gets dismissed
- 04:29What women need most: understanding and awareness
- 05:36Coaching or therapy: what does support look like?
- 07:23Grief and identity: who am I now?
- 09:00What about women without a support team?
- 11:13The demeaning side of "you're just going through menopause"
- 12:59How Kelly found her way to answers
- 16:46Why did every specialist drop the subject?
- 18:55Nathalie's story: a very different experience of care
- 21:35What does it mean to specialize as a coach?
- 23:33Two lanes: the coach and the expert
- 25:43The advice monster and learning to coach
- 26:57Which certification did Kelly choose?
- 28:34Why coaching skills come first
- 30:05Coach, consultant or mentor: why the difference matters
- 32:52How Kelly explains consultant mode and coach mode
- 34:03Why "tell me what to do" is a chance to coach
- 35:35Changing careers at midlife: start with what lights you up
- 38:21More summers ahead: how priorities shift
- 40:28The mindset shift of your fifties
- 42:17Strength training and longevity
- 45:37One question for the universe
- 46:48Resources and where to find Kelly